Jules Posner: Comedian

20 Signs You're A True S.F. Local aka 20 Signs You're A Completely Out Of Touch Blogger

Thu, 23 May 2013 17:09:53 -0700

20 Signs You're A True S.F. Local aka 20 Signs You're A Completely Out Of Touch Blogger:

The truth is we refer to ourselves as “Natives” not “Locals”. I’ve never drank in the park with a bunch of rich kids, because those kids didn’t hang out in the park with us public school kids. I did not go to Lowell. And who would go to a game to watch WCAL teams that aren’t even from SF (with the exception of Riordan) play? Please people stop making these lists. You’re embarrassing the natives.

All trips have ups and downs. This is an up. You’re...

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:45:21 -0700

All trips have ups and downs. This is an up. You’re looking at my face in Time Out New York Magazine.

Interesting that Castro goes with the open stance. Obviously he...

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:16:18 -0700

Interesting that Castro goes with the open stance. Obviously he struggled with inside pitches.

Joke of the week: Jules Posner

Wed, 22 May 2013 11:25:30 -0700

Joke of the week: Jules Posner:

Visiting stand-up Jules Posner understands the true value of medical marijuana and sums it up in this Joke of the Week

Keepin’ it short and sweet in TimeOut New York

"It’s like clockwork nowadays,” he said, estimating 10-15 players on each team use the banned..."

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:28:21 -0700

““It’s like clockwork nowadays,” he said, estimating 10-15 players on each team use the banned substance. “Not tested and it’s easy to get. Nowadays, dude? In 2013? (Expletive) yeah. I’m just being real.””

- HGH use ‘rampant’ in NFL, according to an anonymous player (via sbnation)

The Boston Red Sox invited Jason Collins to throw out a...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:47:51 -0700

The Boston Red Sox invited Jason Collins to throw out a ceremonial first pitch. How do they know he’s not a catcher?

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 00:17:57 -0700

Robots. Dinosaurs would be scary as fuck in real life. Is there robot dinosaurs? That would fuck my life up.

SFWEEKLY: Here's How Cuddling Can Save Your Life

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 11:13:20 -0800

SFWEEKLY: Here's How Cuddling Can Save Your Life:

I knew it.

Chealsea Peretti, Randy Liedtke, and Me at The SF Punch Line!

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 13:41:43 -0800

This week I will be opening for Headliner Chelsea Peretti (Parks and Recreation, Louie, Kroll Show) with feature Randy Liedtke at the San Francisco Punchline. You can buy your tickets punchlinecomedyclub.com! I’ll be performing with them Wednesday through Saturday, and I’ll be hosting the Sunday Showcase to wrap up the week.

Dregs One: A response to Vice Magazine, San Francisco's people of privilege, and social workers who be fakin' the fonk:

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:13:44 -0800

Dregs One: A response to Vice Magazine, San Francisco's people of privilege, and social workers who be fakin' the fonk::

My dear friend Dregs One’s response to a recent VICE Magazine article “Social Work In The Tenderloin Will Kill Something Inside Of You”. Dregs is also a social worker in the Tenderloin. VICE should have interviewed him.

dregsone:

A friend of mine sent me this article last night and it pissed me off. This morning I decided to write an open response:

Social work in the Tenderloin will kill something inside of you

There is no denying that the Tenderloin is a rough neighborhood. The poverty, drug peddling,…

Photo

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:31:09 -0800

Why The Fall Out Boy Reunion Can Go Die In A Fire

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 12:41:30 -0800

jadedpunk:

It’s been almost two weeks since Fall Out Boy announced they would be getting back together and for whatever the fuck reason, we are still hearing about it. But in the grand scheme of music news, this should’ve been filed at the very top of the who-gives-a-fuck pile. Here’s why.

1. Three Years Isn’t A Hiatus

Fall Out Boy announced they were going on hiatus in November 2009. That’s barely over three years ago. Three years isn’t a hiatus. There are currently active bands better than Fall Out Boy who haven’t put out material in longer than that. Dillinger Four hasn’t released new material since 2008. Or how about this: My Bloody Valentine put out an album this year which was their first in 22 years. Can you comprehend how long 22 years is, Fall Out Boy fans? It’s longer than Fall Out Boy’s manager wants you to believe Pete Wentz has been alive. Pete is actually 33 fucking years old and still tweets shit like this:

when girls aren’t listening to you they say things like “aw” when you’re done talking. guys just look at their phones. we need our “aw” word
— Pete Wentz(@petewentz) July 6, 2012

Read More

courtingcomedy: Two more days to vote for Ben Feldman’s...

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 16:58:47 -0800

courtingcomedy:

Two more days to vote for Ben Feldman’s The Simpsons Couch Gag. This isn’t a suggestion, this isn’t a game, go now and support this Comedian-American. (Voting Ends, 11:59pm, 2/11/2013)

What's Up With That Pass D Though?

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 13:18:35 -0800

I’m disappointed in the Niners loss. People may think that non holding call was bull shit, but what was really bull shit was the Niners pass defense. Just like last year against the Giants, the Niners got shredded by an outstanding passer. Flacco picked the Niners apart, much like Eli did last year. The Niners fought hard, but didn’t play better. The game is 4 quarters long, one non call didn’t lose them the game.

The Niners have a very highly regarded defense, but it’s not very well deserved. Sure they’ve got great individual players, and are hellacious against the run, but their secondary got exposed last year and got exposed again this year. They were elite, but the league has caught up to them. People seem to overlook the Niners ranked 23rd in the league on pass defense this season. Really not that great. I’m not a huge numbers guy when it comes to forecasting games, but I am a numbers guy when it comes to games played because those are what actually happened on the field as opposed to what could happen. The Niners pass defense even got beaten up in wins. Just look:

Drew Brees 2011 Divisional in SF: 40/63 462 yards 4 TD’s 2 INT’s

Eli Manning 2011 NFC Championship in SF: 32/58 316 yards 2 TD’s 0 INT

Aaron Rodgers 2012 Divisional in SF: 26/39 257 yards 2 TD’s 1 INT

Matt Ryan 2012 NFC Championship in ATL: 30/42 396 yards 3 TD’s 1 INT

Joe Flacco 2012 Super Bowl in NO: 22/33 287 yards 3 TD’s 0 INT

The Niners surrendered more than 250 yards each of these games. The Niners pass defense definitely is not getting enough blame for this loss. Each win was an offense fueled comeback resulting from the defense not getting it done. The hype of Carlos Rogers’ resurgence, and those “ball hawking” safeties really never showed up. Chris Culliver drew a lot of attention to himself leading up to the Super Bowl and he got humiliated on the biggest stage. Probably deserved it too. Terrell Brown played lights out and even forced the only Niners turnover of the game. The Niners need to address this secondary and ask themselves “Are these guys really that good?”. No. They are not.

The Niners did fight hard and I’m very proud to be Niners fan yesterday, today, and every day. If you are one, you should be too. If you’re kind of one, or became one over the course of the playoffs, you can go fuck yourself. Niners, bitch.

SF Sketchfest 2013!

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 19:31:43 -0800

Sketchfest is starting up this week and I’m very excited to once again, be a part of it.

You can catch me at:

The Romane Event with Paco Romane

Wednesday, January 30th, 8pm, The Make Out Room

Be Kind Rewind

Friday, February 8th, 10pm, Cinecave at Lost Weekend Video

Dems da deets!

courtingcomedy: “Your face might be symmetrical but your ass...

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:02:25 -0800

courtingcomedy:

“Your face might be symmetrical but your ass cheeks are not!”

- Jules Posner on Denzel Washington’s nudity in Flight @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon

I said something along those lines…

Ron Funches and Moshe Kasher chime in on social networking....

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 13:16:26 -0800

Ron Funches and Moshe Kasher chime in on social networking. There’s also a dude that I thought was Kabeezy, but isn’t.

vicemag:

Social media: a helpful tool in communication or a medium to create mindless banter? In part 5 of the series, we ask how young adults these days approach this generation-defining platform.

Anthony Green, Saosin Members Perform "Seven Years"

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 02:25:27 -0800

I just came in my pants.

propertyofzack:

Anthony Green performed “Seven Years” on stage with Justin Shekoski and Beau Burchell of Saosin for the first time in nearly ten years. Check out the great performance below by clicking “Read More.”

Read More

Drew Harmon: Insight, Tacos.: A history of socialism

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 12:47:33 -0800

Drew Harmon: Insight, Tacos.: A history of socialism:

drewharmoncomedy:

1860:
“if you take away our slaves, we can’t afford to do business!”

1880:
“if workers unionize, we can’t afford to do business!”

1900:
“if we can’t use children workers, we can’t afford to do business!”

1920:
“if women have rights we can’t afford to do business!”

1930:
“if…

Cynic Cave. #nofilter

Sat, 10 Nov 2012 20:23:30 -0800

Cynic Cave. #nofilter